Tag Archive | PURE

Sue Scheff: Using Chores to Teach Better Behavior to ADHD Children

Household chores work wonders in teaching good discipline to ADHD children.

Chores are a necessary part of family living. Everyone — son, daughter, mom, and dad — should be assigned daily and weekly chores.

I know it’s easier to complete the tasks yourself, but you’ll be doing your child a disservice if he isn’t assigned jobs around the house. Chores teach responsibility and self-discipline, develop skills for independent living, and make the child with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD) a contributing member of the family.

Household tasks help the ADHD child feel like an important member of the family. Because he may experience more disappointments, failures, and frustrations than the average child, it is imperative that he knows he is needed at home. Choose chores that you know he can complete successfully. This will build self-esteem.

The Right Chores

When assigning chores, consider the age of the child, his interests, and his ability to perform a task. Then teach your child the task in small steps. Let’s say you want your seven-year-old to take responsibility for setting the dinner table. Together, count out the number of plates needed and show him their proper locations. Now count out the number of forks, knives, and spoons needed. Put the utensils in the correct places, followed by the napkins and glassware. Before you know it, your child can set a table.

Clarify the task to be completed, step by step. Pictures showing the steps can be posted on a refrigerator or wall as a visual reference until the chore becomes routine. (Older kids may need only verbal instructions.)

Knowing the basics doesn’t mean he is ready to take full responsibility for the job. Your child will probably need reminders and some supervision before he is able to complete the task on his own. Offer encouragement and praise for his efforts, even if they don’t measure up to your expectations.

Set a Deadline

Establishing a time frame — “Bill, I want the table set by 5:30” — will motivate him to finish the task. With children who can’t tell time, set a timer and let them know that, when the buzzer goes off, they should pick up their toys or feed the dog.

“Chores actually are a great help to David,” says Kate, David’s mom. “It’s a way for him to help us. Even though he complains at times, he likes vacuuming, preparing snacks, and helping sort laundry. Taking the time to teach him the job has paid off big for us. His vacuuming is passable and his laundry sense is great.”

“We try to show Ryan that a family works together,” explains his mother, Terri. “For example, if Ryan does his chores, we will have extra time to play or be with him. If not, we’ll spend that time doing his chores.”

Another mom says, “In our home, chores are done on a paid-for basis. Each chore is worth so much. My husband and I felt our son should learn that you have to work for what you want.”

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) – A Book on Teenage Drug Addiction

Author and mother, Meredith Maran, writes a very compelling story of her own struggles with her teen as well as taking an upclose and personal look at teen drug addiction.
This book is so well written and the research was excellent.  True stories and first hand experiences definitely help you better understand this epidemic going on today.

Sue Scheff – Wit’s End – Parents Universal Resource Experts

wits.jpgWit’s End!”: Official Description from HCI Books “Wit’s End is the shockingly gripping story of parenting a troubled teen and how the author turned her mistakes — and her relationship with her daughter — around. This highly practical and prescriptive book includes all of the advice that the author now offers other parents who are at wit’s end through her nationally recognized organization, Parent’s Universal Resource Experts (P.U.R.E.). A much-needed guide to help parents navigate the choices and methods available to them and their child, this book also serves as a cautionary tale that will help parents empower themselves -– and their children -– toward healing. Wit’s End is an action plan for parents to learn how to be active and empowered participants in their child’s therapy.As a single mother, Scheff offered her daughter Ashlyn gymnastics courses and the finest and most exclusive private schools — striving to make up for a fatherless household. But when her beloved child became a teenager, everything changed.Ashlyn embraced disturbing beliefs and behavior, made friends with a strange and maladjusted group at school, and refused to abide by rules. At times, Scheff believed her daughter would harm herself or others, if she didn’t seek professional help for her daughter. In desperation, Scheff turned to a residential treatment facility to instill discipline into her daughter while providing her with therapy and structure. The exact opposite turned out to be the case. After spending thousands of dollars and seeing troubling behavior in her child, she heard chilling stories of Ashlyn and classmates being kept in inhumane conditions, as well as of beatings, sexual abuse, forced starvation, neglect, and suicide. The daughter she had turned over to be helped by the residential treatment facility returned broken, depressed, and suicidal.As Scheff struggled to find justice while fighting off lawsuits from the very institution that damaged Ashlyn, she found the strength and determination to found P.U.R.E. (Parent’s Universal Resource Experts, Inc.), an advocacy group that draws parents together and helps them find ways to protect their children from destructive influences, educating them about the issues their particular child and family faces and creating a safe environment to revive familial bonds. Using the same criteria P.U.R.E. uses to research residential treatment centers around the world, Wit’s End, provides positive, prescriptive help for families who want only to put their children on the road to a safe, healthy, happy, and independent adulthood.

A chilling and fascinating journey into a damaged family and its path toward renewal, his cautionary tale, coupled with advice the author learned “the hard way” shows how one woman and her daughter found common ground again by standing up to the system and listening to their shared instincts and fought for safe alternatives for themselves and began to heal — an example that every family struggling with trauma can relate to.”

For more information and pre-orders: Wit’s End Website.

Sue Scheff: Early Alcohol Prevention

teenalcohol.jpgBy Connect with Kids

“If you have your first drink before age 14, you’re 4 times more likely to develop alcoholism in your life than if you wait until after age 20.”

– Susan Tapert, Ph.D.

By the sixth grade most kids are trading in their dolls and toys for other hobbies like organized sports, clubs at school, and endless hours on the Internet. But, according to new research, around age 11, some kids may be trading their barbies for booze. When do most kids start drinking alcohol? Kim was only 12 when she started.

“I was drinking and then I was smoking, and then I tried so many different drugs,” says Kim, 15.

“She was experimenting with drugs and liquor. We had to put all the liquor away in the house, and she was going to friends houses and sampling,” says Jim Skinner, Kim’s father.

According to a study by the University of Minnesota, one in six children start drinking by the sixth grade. Research shows the earlier kids start the more likely they are to become addicted.

“If you have your first drink before age 14, you’re 4 times more likely to develop alcoholism in your life than if you wait until after age 20,” says Susan Tapert, Ph.D.

That’s why, experts say, the first line of defense against alcohol and drugs is parents who talk to their kids often and start when they’re young.

“You know, I can’t tell you how many times parents come in and they have never, never approached the word drugs or alcohol with their kids. They just want to ignore it. If they ignore it- it will go away and their kid won’t be involved,” says Shirley Kaczmarski Ed.D., educational director.

“Let them know the risks of their behaviors, and what the consequences might be and you can help them with handling those situations, and knowing what to do in order to avoid them,” says Rhonda Jeffries, M.D., pediatrician.

After months in counseling and a year in a school for troubled teens Kim is now drug and alcohol free.

“I’m very proud of myself,” says Kim.

The study also found the earlier kids start drinking, the less receptive they are to alcohol prevention programs.

Tips for Parents

Alcohol is a depressant, which means it slows the function of the central nervous system. Alcohol actually blocks some of the messages trying to get to the brain. This alters a person’s perceptions, emotions, movement, vision, and hearing. (Nemours Foundation)
An effective way for parents to show care and concern is to openly discuss the use and possible abuse of alcohol and other drugs with their teenager.
Warning signs of teenage alcohol and drug abuse may include:
Physical: Fatigue, repeated health complaints, red and glazed eyes, and a lasting cough.
Emotional: personality change, sudden mood changes, irritability, irresponsible behavior, low self-esteem, poor judgment, depression, and a general lack of interest.
Family: starting arguments, breaking rules, or withdrawing from the family.
School: decreased interest, negative attitude, drop in grades, many absences, truancy, and discipline problems.
Social problems: new friends who are less interested in standard home and school activities, problems with the law, and changes to less conventional styles in dress and music.
The Consequences of Underage Drinking:
(National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA)
A person who begins drinking as a young teen is four times more likely to develop alcohol dependence than someone who waits until adulthood to use alcohol.
During adolescence significant changes occur in the body, including the formation of new networks in the brain. Alcohol use during this time may affect brain development.
Motor vehicle crashes are the leading cause of death among youth ages 15 to 20, and the rate of fatal crashes among alcohol-involved drivers between 16 and 20 years old is more than twice the rate for alcohol-involved drivers 21 and older. Alcohol use also is linked with youthful deaths by drowning, suicide, and homicide.
Alcohol use is associated with many adolescent risk behaviors, including other drug use and delinquency, weapon carrying and fighting, and perpetrating or being the victim of date rape.
Identifying adolescents at greatest risk can help stop problems before they develop. And innovative, comprehensive approaches to prevention, such as Project Northland, are showing success in reducing experimentation with alcohol as well as the problems that accompany alcohol use by young people. (NIAAA)
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry
National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA)
Nemours Foundation

Sue Scheff: At Risk Teens

Today, the number-one killer of adolescents is not disease or illness; it is accidental injury, often caused by risky behavior. Kids’ lives depend on the choices they make – choices to drink and drive, to take drugs, to have unprotected sex – or to say no.

Of course, not all risks are harmful, and in fact, taking some risks – trying out for a sports team or the school play, asking someone out, learning a new skill – is a valuable part of growing up. What can you do to help children make smart choices? How can you prevent them from hurting themselves or others?

Kids don’t always listen to adult warnings about the consequences of risky behaviors… but they will listen to the kids in The Risk Within– kids they can relate to… stories they can learn from and talk about with parents and teachers.

This Connect with Kids has been awarded the Parents’ Choice Award. Programs are used in homes and schools across the country, recommended by teachers, Safe and Drug Free Counselors, health counselors and other educators.


Do you have a struggling teen? At risk teens? Defiant Teen? Teen Depression? Problem Teen? Difficult Teen? Teen Rage? Teen Anger? Teen Drug Use? Teen Gangs? Teen Runaways? Bipolar? ADD/ADHD? Disrespectful Teen? Out of Control Teen? Peer Pressure?

Find about more about Boarding Schools, Military Schools, Christian Boarding Schools, Residential Treatment Centers, and Therapeutic Boarding Schools.

Sue Scheff: Talking with your children about sex and relationships

teensex.jpgSex & the Silent Parent

Sex. It’s on TV, the Internet, in magazines, movies and music videos. But it’s still one of those topics that is hard for parents and their children to talk about. And that’s a problem, because what kids don’t know – and what they think they know – can hurt them.

Learn how to talk with your kids about sex – in a way that they’ll listen. Order the Sex & the Silent Parent. You’ll learn specific advice about where, when, what and how to talk with your kids about sex.

You may be surprised by what your kids believe about sex. A recent health survey reported that most kids don’t know you can get an STD from oral sex. A majority believes you can’t get pregnant the first time you have sex. And two-thirds of teens that do have sex later say they regret it. It’s up to you to give your children the facts and help them be safe and healthy.

Sex & the Silent Parent provides information to help parents learn when the timing is right to have these conversations and how to answer the questions kids ask. You’ll learn how important it is to discuss the dangers and risks, as well as explain what it means to develop trusting relationships. Kids really do want to talk… and listen… and learn from an adult they trust.

Sue Scheff: Preventing Addiction – How to get your Kids to Say NO to Drugs

teendrug2.jpgA generation ago, with the idea to prevent drug addition for future generations, former first lady Nancy Reagan launched her famous anti-drug campaign with the slogan, “just say no to drugs.” Sadly, addiction and drugs still plague our children despite the best efforts of educators and parents. The benefits of drug prevention are real but our approach to prevention has not been successful.

Now, drug and alcohol prevention research is available from Dr. John Fleming in the book Preventing Addiction. In this first-of-its-kind book, Dr. Fleming introduces real ideas to prevent drug use and alcohol consumption in our children based on medical science and on Dr. Fleming’s personal experience as a parent of four grown children. He helps to fully explain the phenomenon of addiction and shows parents the best new ways to raise and train children to avoid drug and alcohol addiction.


Do you have a struggling teen? At risk teens? Defiant Teen? Teen Depression? Problem Teen? Difficult Teen? Teen Rage? Teen Anger? Teen Drug Use? Teen Gangs? Teen Runaways? Bipolar? ADD/ADHD? Disrespectful Teen? Out of Control Teen? Peer Pressure?