Archives

Troubled Teens: Making the Difficult Decisions of Residential Treatment Centers

TroubledTeen5When it comes to sending your child to residential therapy it is probably one of the hardest decisions a parent can make.  It just doesn’t seem normal to send your teenager to a behavioral modification program.  Let’s face it – we all know that sending them to college is part of the circle of life, but no one prepares us for the potholes that some families face – residential treatment centers.

As the holidays approach a teenager’s behavior can sometimes escalate and this can leave a parent with a decision that they don’t want to make.  How can they send their child into a teen help program during this time of the year?

As a Parent Advocate and Parent Consultant, I share with parents that you have many years ahead of you to have many wonderful holidays together – however in some cases, it can mean saving your child’s life by removing them from not-so-safe situations – especially if they are involved in drug use or hanging out with unsavory groups of what they consider friends.  With the extra time off from school -it sometimes can add up to more time for trouble.

Are you struggling with your teenager?  Confused about what school or program is best for their needs?  I founded Parent’s Universal Resource Experts, Inc over a decade ago for parents that are at their wit’s end – after I was duped and my daughter abused at a program that mislead us.  Our experiences are only to help educate parents – there are more good programs than there are not so good one.  It is up to you to do your due diligence.

Remember, family is a priority – your child’s welfare comes first.  There will always be more holidays – let’s be sure your child’s safety and security are first and foremost.

Join me on Facebook  and follow me on Twitter for more information and educational articles on parenting today’s teenagers.

Helping Struggling Teens

After 12 years, my organization has been recognized for helping literally thousands of parents and families with their tweens, teens and young adults.

Recently I was interviewed by Career Thoughts.

Parents’ Universal Resource Experts, Inc was created after I was duped online by trying to get my own daughter help.  I was a parent at my wit’s end.  I was vulnerable – I was scammed – and my daughter suffered the consequences.

Many people have asked about her, and she is now a grown woman, successful in her career and has two children of her own.  We have overcome the hurdles – not because of the horrific program she went to, but in spite of it – and because of the fantastic help we found after it to help de-programize her from the damage they did to her.

I always share with parents to learn from my mistake and gain from my knowledge.  That is the biggest gift I can give.

Read the article -click here.

Residential Therapy: Are you ready to made the leap?

You have finally reached your wit’s end.  It has come to a point where you have exhausted all your local resources.  The one on one therapy is no longer working, if it ever did.  The fact is, it is a fight to even get your teen to attend a session.  If you do get them to attend – how many times to they actually manipulate the therapist to actually believe there isn’t an issue at all…… in some instances the blame can come right back to the parent!

Yes, manipulation of a teen is priceless.  They are the best at what they do.  However now is the time for the parent to be the best at what they are – a parent.

You decided it is time for residential therapy and you jump on the Internet and you start with Google by typing in key words.  Teen help, struggling teens, defiant teens, teen help programs, military schools, reform schools, troubled teens, rebellious teens, etc.

What you will find is a list of marketing arms that are very quick to “sell you a group of programs” rather than discuss what is best for your individual teenager.  I always caution parents to beware of these toll free numbers and marketing arms that you have no clue where you are calling and who is connected to what.

I once was at my wit’s end – my story is what prompted me to created an organization to help educate parents about the big business of “teen help”.  Take a few minutes to read – “A Parent’s True Story” and you will realize that although you absolutely need to get your son or daughter help, you also need to take the time to do your research.

I have listed some “Do’s and Don’ts” when searching –  these are some great helpful hints for parents.  This is such a major emotional and financial decision that I encourage to read through my website and learn as much as you can before making a decision.  I firmly believe in residential programs – I just also believe you need to select the right one for your child’s needs.

Visit www.helpyourteens.com for more information.

Teen Help Programs: The Internet Search

You have finally reached your wit’s end with your teenager.

You have exhausted all your local resources, your nerves are fried, you have removed all their privileges and nothing is making a difference – you are literally a hostage to your own child!

What now?

It is time for outside help… but you get online and realize first the sticker shock…. (price of programs and schools) then you see all these horror stories – EXACTLY WHO SHOULD YOU BELIEVE?

Your gut!

Years ago I was in your exact spot – and I didn’t listen my gut, and the results were not good, however it had a purpose.  The reason was to be a part of helping parents not make the mistakes I did.

When you get online you will see many toll free numbers going to places unknown.  Usually sales reps that will more than happily give you a list of programs that they believe will be perfect for your child – but how do they know?

Point is – you don’t want a sales rep – you don’t want a marketing arm, you want an owner, a director or someone that will be vested in your child’s recovery and healing process.  Someone that will be held accountable – their reputation will be reflected upon your child’s success.

I created an organization that helps educate parents to better understand the big business of residential therapy.  There are questions parents need to ask, that many don’t think about while they are desperate for help such as when will they be able to speak with their child or visit their child.

I encourage you to visit www.helpyourteens.com and find out more about residential therapy – especially if you are considering the next step.  Don’t wait for a crisis to happen.  Be prepared.

Join me on Facebook  and follow me on Twitter for more information and educational articles on parenting today’s teenagers.

Wilderness Programs: Are They for Your Teen?

What is a “Wilderness Program?”  If you are a parent that is struggling with a teenager that is out-of-control, you will surf the Internet and attempt to find help.  Many parents first think of boot camps as a resolution – a way to teach our teen a lesson.  Then you realize that maybe that is not the best avenue and you are somehow directed to wilderness programs.  Not always, but especially if you have hired an Educational Consultant, their first recommendation is commonly Wilderness programs.

There are many very good Wilderness Programs in our country, however the question remains, are they necessary or should you go directly to where most teens eventually end up:  Residential Therapy program.

Wilderness programs are mainly designed to break a teen down.  Although they are not punitive, in comparison to a boot camp, they are primitive, forcing your teen to appreciate the luxuries he had at home.

However, a residential therapy program can do the same thing, since many are not designed by Hilton (TM).  Have you also thought about this:  Your teen is already broken down, why do we need to continue to break him/her down?

Let’s look at the pro’s and cons. 

  • Wilderness programs can cost you up to $500.00 a day. Yes, a day.  Some start as little as $250.00 a day (Yes, as little as).  Now multiply that by 30 days or actually 6 weeks, since the average stay in Wilderness is 6-9 weeks.  At the low end: A month in the mountains will cost you $7500.00.  That is questionable to many, as well as out of the financial means of many more.
  • Wilderness program rarely have academics.  Fact is your teen is probably not focused on academics and could care less about them.  Working on their emotional stability is the goal here, however it shouldn’t be an excuse to delay education.  Although your child may not care about their education, you do.
  • Wilderness programs are short term.  Short term program, short term results and a lot of money.  In most cases they go on to residential programs which will run you about another $5000.00 a month and up for another 10-12 months.  Wouldn’t it make sense to start and finish at the same place with the same therapist and the consistency of recovery?
  • Wilderness programs are sadly where we hear of the most deaths or accidents in teen help programs.  It is true, accidents can happen in any program, however when listening to speakers in congress while attempting to pass a bill to stop abuse in residential programs, it seemed the parents that lost a child in a program were mainly in Wilderness programs.

Some positives:

  • If your teen has not escalated to a point of serious concern, and is just starting to make some poor choices, maybe a 6-9 week wake-up call is all that is needed.  As long as you can afford it, and remember, if they decide he/she needs more than the 6-9 weeks, you need to be prepared to go the next step.
  • The teen is removed from their home environment.  They are put in a place of isolation and maybe this is just what they need to reflect on their current negative behavior.
  • There are some excellent Wilderness programs with very good and caring staff in our country.  Many teens that had a wilderness experience really feel it was very good.  Many parents also believe that the Wilderness program helped their child get ready for the next step, residential therapy.
  • Wilderness programs offer a great opportunity for your teen to live outdoors and experience outdoor therapy.  With some teens this is very beneficial.

This is a personal decision, and although I am not an advocate of Wilderness programs I can appreciate and respect parents that believe they need this extra step and it has worked for them.  It is my philosohy that starting and finishing at the program is part of the consistency of healing.  Having to switch programs and therapists (especially) and starting over, can feel like you have fallen back to ground zero. However, each family is different with different needs, so this is an individual decision.

Is Wilderness right for your teen?  Only you can answer that.

Visit www.HelpYourTeens.com.

Struggling Teens, Defiant Teens, Problem Teens, Teen Help: Back To School Diasters

  • Defiance
  • Drugs
  • Drinking
  • Disrepect
  • Addiction
  • Good Kids, Bad Choices
  • Sneaking out (Runaways)
  • Failing (High School dropouts)
  • Highly intelligent yet underachieving
  • Entitlement issues
  • Peer Pressure
  • PARENTING

Obviously this list could go on and on as more and more teenagers are engaging in harmful or dangerous activities.

What happened to respecting authority?  What happened to respecting your parents?  What happened to graduating high school?

For those parents that are not dealing with a teen with any of the above issues, congratulations and please share your success in our comments section below.  For others, read on.

Is your teen reaching a level that he/she are out-of-control? Going down a negative path with only a few years left of high school? Do you fear for their future if they continue down this road?

Typical teenage behavior, which much of it can be, however what happens when this typical behavior lands them in juvie? Or in the hospital with an overdose?

Most have tried therapists. Most have even tried out-patient programs. Some have tried sending their teen to a relatives to live. What happens when these attempts fail?

For many, it is time for residential therapy. Now you really need to be engaged, do your homework and be extremely cautious. The world of teen-help is a big business and they are waiting for parents that are at their wit’s end to call!

There are many good programs in our country. The most important decision you will make is choosing the right one for your child. Don’t rely on marketing arms, toll-free numbers, and spams of email promises. Do your due diligence and work through this process in the best interest of your family.

Visit www.helpyourteens.com for helpful hints and tips for finding what is best for your family. Remember, if you are on the East Coast (Florida or other states), just because the Internet seems to continue to point you to the West Coast, there are programs on the East Coast that are extremely high quality – and some of the best. Although you don’t want the school/program in your backyard, you also don’t want to be so far away that visiting them would be difficult.

For more detailed information pick up Wit’s End: Advice and Resources for Saving Your Out-of-Control Teen – it could save your teenager today! By visiting Parents’ Universal Resource Experts (PURE) you can receive a free chapter here. World renown Parenting Expert and TODAY Show Contributor, Dr. Michele Borba, wrote recently about PURE and Wit’s End, click here.

Remember, be a parent first – friendship will come in time. This is not about shipping your teen off, it is about giving them a second opportunity at a bright future!

Parents’ Universal Resource Experts (PURE) is a Member of the Better Business Bureau.

For over a decade, PURE has helped thousands of families!