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    • Sue Scheff: The Choking Game - G.A.S.P. February 9, 2010
      G.A.S.P. - Games Adolescents Shouldn't Play is a very serious concern for parents everywhere.The Choking Game is a misunderstood activity causing death and suffering for thousands of families worldwide. It often begins with high-achieving teens choking each other as a way to get high without the risk of getting caught with drugs or alcohol. It ends with […]
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    • Sue Scheff: National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month February 5, 2010
    • Sue Scheff: Teen Sex and the Dictionary February 3, 2010
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    • Sue Scheff: Teens Helping Hurting Teens - To Save a Life February 2, 2010
      TO SAVE A LIFE is now in over 400 screens in theaters nationwide. To Save A Life is a powerful Indie movie about the real-life challenges of teens and their choices. But it's more than just a movie-it's a feature-length film with follow-up opportunities like a youth group curriculum and a teen devotional centered around the biblical concept that we […]
    • Sue Scheff: Is the iPad for your teenager? February 1, 2010
      Apple's Steve Jobs recently launched the iPad, displaying the many capabilities that this latest gadget can perform. Reminiscent of an iPhone, only larger, the iPad has practical applications for the gadget loving teens. Even colleges students will fall in love with this latest tech system. The iPad offers a wide variety of features that will delight an […]
    • Sue Scheff: Anger Management and Your Teens January 31, 2010
      "I don't care what you say I am doing what I want to do! I hate you and you just don't want me to have fun!""All my friends are allowed to stay out late; you are mean and want to ruin my life!""You have no idea how I feel and you are only making it worse!" When a difficult teen is out of control, they only can hear the […]
    • Sue Scheff: Who are your teens hanging with? January 29, 2010
      Last fall Dr. Michele Borba, TODAY Show Contributor, released her largest book ever! The BIG Book of Parenting Solutions - 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries.In a 10 part series on Examiner, I explored only a tiny fraction of what BBPS (BIG Book of Parenting Solutions). Parenting Resolutions with Solutions is a 4 part series that sha […]
    • Sue Scheff: Do Mean Girls Grow Up to be Mean Women? January 28, 2010
      Part 2 with guest Jane Balvanz, educator and Female Friend Expert.If you missed part 1, go back.Do Mean Girls Grow Up to Be Mean Women?I want to answer that question with a resounding, "No," but I can't. I can't answer it affirmatively, either. We humans all try on the roles of Bully, Bystander, and Target like costumes at some point in o […]
    • Sue Scheff: Teen Sex Games (Rainbow and Snap) - Be an educated parent January 27, 2010
      This is a sensitive subject and many will be appalled and disgusted, however as a parent, it is about being educated. Knowing what can be happening in your neighborhood, in your schools, or even in your own home - is your responsibility as a parent to stay in touch with your children and their lives."Rainbow Party" by Paul Ruditis, is written as fi […]

Sue Scheff: Teens and Sports

I found this to be a very interesting article since I never thought of kids and sports in this aspect.  With my children, I do recall them doing one sport at a time, however this article brings up some points I didn’t think of.  I believe it is also important not to over-schedule our teens which can cause stress and more issues, however I am re-thinking about the one-sport athlete. 

college-athletes-294x300Source: Connect with Kids

One Sport Athletes

“I think, parents, part of your job is to just be smarter than your kids. And to keep them motivated in, I think, different directions.”

– George Williams, psychologist

The days of a three letter varsity athlete may be fading away. Today more high school kids than ever are trying to excel at a single sport. They practice all year long in hopes of playing first string in high school or college or even the pros. But is that such a good idea?

Webb Worthington, 18, has a room filled with trophies and medals from many different sports. “Soccer, basketball, football, baseball … diving, and a little bit of swimming,” he says.

But it seems a diverse trophy collection like his is becoming rare. More and more young athletes are feeling the pressure to specialize in one sport year round.

“Sometimes the parents’ wants are what gets intermingled in there. So parents will want their kid to be a star in a given area versus just let them play,” says George Williams, psychologist.

But being a star can be short-lived. Only one percent of high school athletes get a college scholarship, and a tiny fraction of those go pro.

Experts also worry that if kids specialize in a single sport when they’re young, it can become their whole identity- to the exclusion of other things. “[They will] only consider that sport. Forget about school, forget about other extra-curricular activities,” explains college track coach, Andria King.

Forget about art, music, student government, the chess club and the honor roll. That’s the danger, she says, when kids are obsessed by a single sport.

Instead, experts say, parents should help their kids see the value of being well-rounded. “They have a wide range of interests, and they’re not too narrowly focused that they miss out on huge things that occur in life,” explains Williams, “and that happens by exposure.”

Webb plays several sports but has only one goal. “Perform to the best of my ability,” he says, “same with diving, baseball, same in school, I mean anything I do. But not to the point where I want to give up everything else in my life.”

It seems kids with a single-sport focus are replacing the three-sport athletes of yesteryear. Some might say the conventional wisdom of exposing youth to many facets of recreation is an archaic mentality. Although statistics have not been tracked, many grade-school coaches lament the growing phenomenon of pressuring kids to specialize in one sport.

One high school coach, Dick Myers says, “AAU (Amateur Athletic Union) coaches have pushed out guidance counselors and high school coaches as they try to barter deals with colleges.” Much of the pressure comes from the coaches, who are often specializing themselves. Bob Landers, a 30-year veteran of high-school athletics says, “As coaches started doing just one sport, they lost perspective and wanted to have their players working on their sport all the time.”

Consider the following:

  • Amateur Athletic Union (AAU) coaches with connections to shoe companies scout fifth- and sixth-graders playing recreation league basketball.
  • Some private schools scout recreation centers and use sneakers and scholarship promises to entice the best players.
  • Some coaches feel superstar players will enhance one’s reputation once (and if) they obtain a scholarship to a prestigious, sports-oriented college.

Tips for Parents

Psychiatrists have given a name to the condition where a person obsesses over a child’s achievement: the “Achievement by Proxy” or “Munchausen by proxy” syndrome. Traditionally, MBPS occured when a caretaker would convince another person that he/she (the other person) was ill. The caretaker reveled in the attention coming from doctors, nurses and others. Basically, MBPS uses someone else as the attention-getting object, the proxy. MBPS has found its way into sports, however. In relation to sports, MBPS takes place when the parent or coach revels in the player’s attention from fans, teammates, scouts, etc., and in the won games, trophies and awards the player achieves. In addition:

  • Some say MBPS is a cry for help from parents who may be experiencing anxiety or depression or have feelings of inadequacy as parents of young children.
  • These individuals are looking for confirmation of their parenting skills, or in the case of a coach, coaching skills.
  • Abuse of exceptional and high-achieving children as part of parental achievement by proxy can be seen in such varied areas as sport, examination achievement, musical virtuosity, film performance and beauty contests.

For most, dreams of million-dollar contracts and Olympic gold medals will never materialize. However, if a child discovers on his or her own some extraordinary skill in one sport and then decides to dedicate himself or herself to reaching an elite level, that’s okay, as long as it’s his/her decision. And always remember, that regardless of the level of excellence, participation in sports – one, two, even three at a time – will nurture skills, foster friendships, provide lifetime lessons and create indelible memories.

Team sports provide physical benefits, like improved fitness, coordination, weight control and a reduced risk of health problems. Among the life skills a child can gain are: accepting feedback, commitment, discipline, fairness, following directions, interacting with others, respect, responsibility and taking turns. Keep in mind:

  • Children often follow a parent’s or coach’s dream, not their own.
  • Eighty percent of parents said they saw injuries to their children as “part of the game.”
  • Some children might consider themselves an underachiever if they don’t make the city All-Star or “traveling” team and are “only” good enough to make a school squad.
  • Some young players refuse to participate on their high school teams because they feel club teams are more competitive and club coaches have better contacts with college recruiters.
  • Young players may never discover talent in another sport after devotion to one sport at an early age.

As a parent of a youth athlete, you should:

  • Always be positive and encouraging.
  • Emphasize effort and improvement over winning or personal performance.
  • Attend events and practices as your schedule allows.
  • Model good sportsmanship.
  • Above all, keep your child’s sport in perspective.

References

  • The British Journal of Psychiatry
  • KidsHealth
  • Mayo Clinic
  • One Hand Clapping
  • USA Today